Ohh Nanayhood PowersNanayhood/May 10, 2018
Nanayhood Powers: To have the the strength to slow down and look at the future with a smile
Pre Mother’s Day contemplation.
It is my dream to be a mom. I always love being around children. To have one of my own is something I really really prayed for. I thought 9 years of learning and teaching about young children will prepare me for motherhood. No no. Not at all. Himig is our rainbow after a baby without a heartbeat that we gained and lost just 3 weeks after our “I Dos”. When she came, I couldn’t even feel I was sacrificing anything. She is all I could think of. She is all that matters. I am this new “empowered” woman who can do anything and everything….Until she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. How can my perfect girl have something incurable? Fears flooded my mind. The heck I was so afraid like never before. What if she grows up hating the world? What if she wants to do something and she cant because of how she walks? So so many questions. So so many tears.
And then I saw her. She does not even care about how she walks. She still tries to do things her own way…climbing the stairs, running around, buttoning her shirt. She is amazing. With or without CP.
If she is not bothered? Why should I? It was just a label. I should not be bothered with labels.
I started to pick myself up and see how we can help her. Several visits to different doctors and we found out it was something minor. It cant be corrected but it can be improved. Her early exposure to activities led her to develop her language skills. A compensation to the weakness of her right part of the body.
Oh boy, we are so glad she could talk!
It dawned on me how I have this power over her. How I could lead or mislead her. So big of a task to make or break a little person. How I would react to a situation will teach her how he can react as well. The words that I use. My facial expressions. Indeed with this great power comes an even greater responsibilty.
And that power fuels me everyday. Naturally. Totoo pala yun. Literally magiging superwoman ka nalang. Maybe God made woman stronger when they become a momma.
And honestly, I see that with Tatay too. He is just this whole new person when Himig came. kinukulot pa nga nya ngayon buhok ni Himig. Nagluluto ng pancake na ibat iba ang colors, nagkakarpintero ng dollhouse etc.
As much as we have a big impact on Himig, she has this amazing power over us too. Power to change us. Power to inspire us. Power to even turn our worlds upside down.
I have always been insecure all my life. Overweight. The only non valedictorian in a family of 1st honors (and doctors). I often say I am the black sheep of the family. But Nanayhood turned me into a black and white sheep. Probably still has black spots. But definitely trying to show some white for my little lamb 🙂
What a comforting feeling that in the world of motherhood, there are communities that welcome diversity. That accepts shortcomings and that embraces support to one another. Glad to know I am not alone in this. And that I have superhumans behind my back! 🙂 Indeed, a movement of #mompowerment .